oh god someone help me. feeling hopeless is the worst feeling… i went to the doctor and she just flat out said “youre going to have to learn to deal with this for the rest of your life.” and also she said “i cant help you because i dont know how.” :( she told me that i need to see a psychiatrist but it takes like 6 months to get an appt… i just want to see a doctor who is interested in whats wrong with me and wants to see me get better, not just some bored doctor doing her job. maybe one day. 



People without anxiety just don’t get it. Its not that we don’t want to connect with people. We do, so badly. We want to make friends and feel comfortable in other people’s presences. We just can’t. We can’t explain, we can’t control it. 

Please don’t pass off someone with anxiety as just “anti social” I don’t know a single person who has anxiety that wouldn’t love a few friends. 

Anxiety isn’t cute. It’s painful. It’s tears, hardly any social interaction, losing your hair, shaking and trembling, biting your nails, self hatred, and self destruction. It’s laying in your bed at night begging for sleep, but it just won’t let you. It’s waking up in the morning but you don’t dare to look in the mirror because your thoughts are eating at you and it is physically showing on the outside. It’s not quirky and adorable. It’s an ugly monster that lives inside your head. Anxiety isn’t cute.

unanswered questions

why does it have to be so hard for me to feel positive feelings? what the hell is holding me back from being happy? i know what genuine happiness is and the past year i havent felt it :(  but can i really change the dark feelings that i have on my own? is it my choice, or is there some godforsaken chemical in my brain thats overpowering the happiness im trying to feel? i just need answers…someone elses input. i need someone to help me unscramble the confusion in my head…because its just been me and my thoughts alone for too long…